500 DAYS OF SUMMER, about 495 days too long

You can't find a cuter actress than Zoey Deschanel. And she can act too. And Joseph Gordon-Levitt is one of the most talented actors of his generation. Just check out THE LOOKOUT to see that proven. The two of them in a romantic comedy should be great. But it's not.

SUMMERTIME SPOILER ALERT

There are several problems with the film.

#1 TONE

The tone is all over the place. At times, it's a lighthearted comedy. Sometimes it's postmodern, like when JGL breaks the fourth wall and looks into camera, or when there's a song-and-dance number complete with animated bird. Other times, the film's a mopey affair. In fact, most of the time it's sad. None of these tones particularly gel -- we're laughing one minute, enjoying the antics of JGL's precocious kid sister, and then we're wallowing in self-pity. Some of the film's realistic, some of it's very postmodern, and sometimes there are visual effects for no discernible reason. Seems like the writers and director were going for something hip and edgy, but it just feels fuzzy and undisciplined. In fact, if you got rid of the film's happy ending, you'd have a very miserable movie.

#2 THE STRUCTURE

The film bounces around at various points in the relationship, from the end to the beginning and back. It feels like it was trying for some sort of ANNIE HALL feel, but where that film's structure is used as an asset to explore how a relationship starts great and ends poorly, here, it just feels like movement for movement's sake. We're not exploring the relationship in chronological order, and in most cases, the juxtapositions between early and late-stage scenes aren't used for irony or to drive the story forward. The creators aim for a structure in which JGL tries to win ZD back, but he doesn't really try much and instead acts mopey and depressed, which isn't an impressive strategy.

#3 ZD's CHARACTER

The writers engage in some truly lazy writing. Other than the fact that Zooey is adorable and happens to like the same depressing '80s music as JGL, we don't get why he likes her. Oh wait -- the writers have the narrator speak over scenes where he just tells us she's great and that everyone loves her (scenes where the narration duplicates the voiceover). So instead of seeing that there's something special about her, we're told it. Which is very, very weak.

#4 THEIR RELATIONSHIP

With nothing particularly in common, we don't root for the two of them to get together. So it's no big tragedy when they break up. And it feels as if JGL should just get on with his life. Zooey's not into him, and besides, she told him she wasn't looking for anything serious before they started dating. Seems pretty commonsense that their relationship would end the way it did.

In order for any romance-based film to work, we need to buy into the relationship at its core. We have to know that Harry and Sally belong together so that we're willing to sit through all the bullshit that comes between our desire and that actually happening two hours later. Here, we know ZD and JGL don't belong together, so we don't care that they break up.

#5 THE NARRATION

Narration can be good in a film, if it adds a layer to the film that you wouldn't get otherwise. Whether that's the ironic commentary of something like A CLOCKWORK ORANGE or SUNSET BOULEVARD or the unreliability of THE USUAL SUSPECTS, all three of those films would be lessened if you removed the voiceover. In 500 DAYS, the narration tries for irony and jokiness, but instead usually just duplicates what we're seeing and fills in backstory and character that we should see through character action. It's also used inconsistently, falling away for great stretches of time and then reappearing for no reason.

And the most glaring mis-use is at the end of the film, when the narrator comments about how JGL finally learned that there's no such things as fate and destiny (and then returns to talk to the girl who's interviewing for the same job as him). Which is weird, because the movie isn't about fate and destiny, and neither concept is even mentioned before this. ZD works in the same office as JGL, but she doesn't start working there due to some accident or quirk of kismet.

500 DAYS aspires to a post-modern ANNIE HALL, but instead falls way short of the mark due to its muddled script and direction and the inclusion of quirks for quirkiness' sake rather than some story purpose.