GENTLEMEN BRONCOS - This Horse Needs To Be Put Down

The team behind NAPOLEON DYNAMITE fucked me again. I should've known better, but the trailers for GENTLEMEN BRONCOS showed two things that gave me hope it'd be a fun movie -- Sam Rockwell in dual, ridiculous roles, and a baked-in conflict that could drive the story (in a young writer finding his novella stolen and publicized to much acclaim by his author idol).

Unfortunately, GB is pretty much the same film as NAPOLEON DYNAMITE, down to the lack of plot, goofball characters (including a schmuck with a weird haircut, an annoying girl, and an odd Mexican guy), and impoverished/70s setting.

It tells the story of Benjamin Purvis, a teen who lives with his mom in a geodesic dome house (for some uknown reason), and who aspires to be a professional author. He attends a literary festival/workshop, where he meets his favorite author, Dr. Ronald Chevalier. The festival has a contest where a winning book will be published. Chevalier steals Benjamin's work and publishes it as his own. Meanwhile, Benjamin's friends Tabatha and Lonnie make an indie film version of his work. Benjamin eventually finds out Chevalier stole his work. A snake shits on Mike White, there's some unrelated gunplay, and that's about it.

The only funny parts of the film are the various versions of Benjamin's book in which Sam Rockwell variously plays Benjamin's version of the hero and Chevalier's much, much gayer version.

The premise -- that of a young author finding his work stolen and published by his idol -- is an interesting one, and it's full of conflict and potential drama. Sadly, Jared & Jerusha Hess opt for oddness instead of milking this conflict. We get two scenes with Benjamin and Chevalier post-plagiarism. In the first, Benjamin punches him in the face. In the second, the situation is resolved by Benjamin's mom -- she registered all his work since he was seven. The main character doesn't even solve his own problem -- it's solved for him.

The film also fails to set up Benjamin as a person with a goal. Why does he want to be published? What does that represent? This lack means that once Benjamin's story is stolen, we're not sure why that matters so much to him (other than the obvious reasons). With one simple bit of dialogue, Benjamin could've explained to his friends what being a published author represents; then, when we saw his book getting that acclaim for someone else, it would resonate more.

There are some more oddball characters, including a truly grotesque version of Pedro from ND, as well as Mike White's odd Big Brother-type character, who serves no real purpose in the film.

The biggest moment of dramatic tension comes during a bit of gunplay that's tacked on for no apparent reason and doesn't even come from the main story. Benjamin's mom (played by a sadly wasted Jennifer Coolidge) goes to a rich man's house to show her horrible line of dresses; he hits on her and Benjaim sticks up for her; then the guy starts shooting for some reason.

The film also fails because we see Benjamin's story and it's horrible. So to see it stolen and published is weird -- it's just as crappy (if not more so) than when he wrote it. And I'm not sure what Hess & Hess were going for in having it adapted into a bad video as well; having his story stolen/ruined once would be sufficient if they bothered to play it out properly.

For some reason that still escapes me, NAPOLEON DYNAMITE made a ton of money, really resonating with pre-teens and teens despite its annoying characters and complete lack of a cohesive narrative. GENTLEMEN BRONCOS follows the same formula with even less returns than ND.